Sheila Meets The Neighbors

"Here are the adjacent property owners now," the realtor said with a wave, "Hello Jones Family!"

Sheila held back a gasp at the sight of the naked family. Never in her life did she feel so adamantly against "keeping up with the Joneses".  

OMG, It's Mike & Sheila

"I think this is the ONE", Mike said to Sheila, "Don't you think this is the ONE? And the kids love it! 

"The kids certainly do love it!", The realtor smiled.

 Sheila turned her back and felt an overwhelming wave of deja vu.

Hey Little Sister, Who's Your Superman

"Are you mad or something?", Mike asked Sheila, "Okay, okay--so I didn't tell you that we were hosting the wedding reception at our house", he sighed, "I didn't want to worry you with silly details and extraneous information."

Hey Little Sister, What Have You Done

Yeah, I still dig on Billy Idol's songs from the 80's. I spent a few minutes enjoying some of his old school videos last night. This scene was not inspired by his White Wedding song, but I was more inspired to listen to that song after completing the first half of this scene.

My wedding was also an outdoor event. We exchanged vows under a massive white tent with windows. To this day, when people see some photos of the tent, they go "Ohh, you went to Julia Robert's wedding!?"...uh no. It also stormed the night before our big day and so I thought that we would end up having a November Rain wedding--complete with guitar solo and guests diving across the cake and under the tables. No casket business though. Actually, the day turned out to be incredibly beautiful and sunny. And despite a few disappointing snafus during the event, it turned out to be one of the best days of my life.

Pitter-Patter

"Surprise!", Mike shouted, "We're having a baby!"
"Yay!", shouted the kids.
"Mike", Sheila looked around the room in confusion and wondered where their bedroom furniture had gone, "I'm not pregnant."
Mike smiled, "Not yet, but very very soon".

The New BFF

That's right, Sheila smugly thought after she introduced Nina to her new friend Michelle, I'm having lunch with Michelle Obama and after that, we just might go shopping with Oprah. So much for your little tickets to Oprah's favorite things show, Nina!

Happy 44th

When Mike said that his old college buddy "Barry" was coming over for dinner, he forgot to mention a few things. Sheila felt mortified as she realized that she had just made fish stick surprise on a bed of coleslaw for the President of the United States and his family.

Visiting Nina and Steve

"I want to be sympathetic to your one bedroom issue,"Nina said after listening to everything that Sheila had to say, "but at least you have more than one room to live in." It was then that Sheila decided that it was no longer cute or fun that Nina was always dressed like her.

Itsy Bitsy

"It's just a spider! Get some sleep already.", Mike had gruffly said before rolling over and shutting his eyes. Sheila continued staring at the ceiling and realized that she hadn't heard the children in awhile.

Happy Thanksgiving

Sheila desperately tried to think of something to be thankful for.

5 Little

Oh sure, "5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed" sounds so cute until you're living it. Sheila thought that the worst part was almost nobody ever fell off and when they did, rarely did anyone sufficiently bump their head. The only time Sheila ever called the doctor was to get more prescription medicine cocktails for herself.

Stockholm Syndrome

I decided to pack away the Voila S553 doll house this weekend. If you've seen the previous post then you already know that I'm tinkering with the Lundby Stockholm 2005 dollhouse in its place. It's interesting to be working in a different scale--1:18. I've promised myself that I won't buy anything new for it, but we all know that's a lie! First, I'll see how many different rooms I can come up with using the stock that I have. I had to dig out some old school stuff to get to the Lundby furniture and lo and behold, don't you know I came across some Ikea PS Eskistuna stools that I completely forgot about. Weird. I have nowhere to put them so they got shoved back into storage where they will eventually "surprise" me again in another year or so.

Eskistuna Image: IKEA

What To Do With This Blog...

Sheila stood with her five children, looking up at the glass house that her husband Mike was showing them. It became painfully obvious that he indeed had an inability to understand how many bedrooms their family needed.

Mike beamed. He was proud that he had stumbled upon a modern gem of a house in a sought after neighborhood, "It's even got a pool!"

The kids were excited about the swimming pool. All Sheila could think about was that you had to go outside to get to the bathroom and to the single bedroom.

With a polite but faint smile on her face, Sheila let Mike show her around the property. "I think this is the ONE", Mike said, "Don't you think this is the ONE?--And the kids love it!"

"Don't you think it lacks privacy?", Sheila asked.
"I think it's a small price to pay in an effort to reduce our consumption while preserving the Earth's resources", Mike said, "And, babe, look at that view".
Sheila quietly wondered why she had chosen to marry this man, "So...we wouldn't remodel?"
"Goodness no", Mike laughed, "It's perfect as it is--maybe a coat of paint here or there but the structure is fine."

The kids loved the house. "Daddy, I want to live here!", one child shouted, "And sleep on the roof!"
"Daddy, is this really going to be our cool new house?", another child asked.
"Well", Mike said, "That all depends on your mother."

Sheila remembered the last time she had disagreed with her family on a house purchase. It had ended badly.

In the end, she felt that she had no choice but to consent.